The Stuff Review

The Stuff (1985)

Michael Moriarty, Paul Sorvino, Garret Morris
Dir: Larry Cohen

 Okay, so what's not quite white, kinda thick and your girlfriend can't get enough of it? That's right, cheesecake. But I also would have accepted The Stuff.

Yes, The Stuff. The delicious low calorie treat made, about that...

Tasty, tasty.
The Stuff is a classic Larry Cohen vehicle about a mysterious white goop found bubbling from the ground that becomes a popular dessert treat. Unfortunately for the consumers, this sweet cream is actually controlling and consuming them from the inside out!

The Stuff is one of the first horror movies I remember seeing as a kid. It was always one of my favorites because of how ridiculous it was. Seriously, this stuff is "discovered" when some guy walks up to a random marshmallow hot spring in the snow, sticks his finger in and then proceeds to put said finger into his mouth. I'm sorry if that sounds like nit-picking, but can anyone tell me the last time they just randomly stuck their hand into a random substance and tasted it? Put your hand down, that was rhetorical...

 So, the movie initially follows young Jason as he wakes up for a midnight snack only to open the fridge and witness the creamy confection making a slow retreat to its opened container. As anyone would figure, his family doesn't believe him when he warns against eating the Stuff; even his mother only worries about staining when he flips out and tosses a carton as he rushes out the door. He's next seen running amok in a super market after stopping a small child from consuming the mystery cream. (Look closely and you can spot Eric Bogosian as one of the clerks that try to stop him)

As Jason is beginning to feel he's all alone against the Stuff, we are introduced to charismatic Southern gent (and industrial spy), David "Mo" Rutherford as he investigates the company that produces and distributes The Stuff. Why "Mo"? Because whenever his friends give him something, he always wants 'mo'. Mo has been hired to sneak into the company that makes The Stuff and destroy it from within. Simple.
"Yeah, so as I was saying, this kid throws an egg at me and calls me 'the 1%'"

Okay, so first off, my favorite part about the movie: Mo. This guy is as hilarious as he is suave and cunning. Planting bugs on his employers, wooing women, enjoying sweaty handshakes...yeah, good times. Easily the comic relief of the film, everywhere Mo goes, craziness follows. Next, I'd say this is probably a favorite of mine simply for the story. The creamy killer mystery food that assimilates its victims faster (...well, almost as fast) as crack and cigarettes. Why aren't there more movies these days like this? I don't think I had many complaints about this one. It has some good humor, some campy gore, a hot supporting actress (Andrea Marcovicci was kinda hot back then...sue me) and a lot of...Stuff.

Seriously, though, unless you have an irrational fear of marshmallow fluff, whipped cream, sour cream, cottage cheese or some other thick, white, dairy-type product, you should give this one a's mind rottingly good.

It's like Scary Movie...but scary!
Chocolate Chip Charlie and Mo

"Hello, sweaty palm!"


You can never get enough of...

No comments:

Post a Comment

We want to know what you think! Leave a comment and tell us what's on your mind!