In the recent years we've seen remakes and announcements for remakes of classic movies that we all love and ultimately feel never truly needed the touchups. Among these were the three horror titans, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th and Halloween. Were they good? Well, two out of three ain't bad, right? Were they really actually needed? Hell no.
Don't get me wrong, I love Rob Zombie and have been a fan since White Zombie and I feel he's a fantastic...everything, really. But it's undeniable a reboot for quite possibly the scariest, most creepiest horror icon wasn't really necessary, nor did it really seem to bring the chills and feels of the original.
That being said, I figured it couldn't hurt to do a shameless little list about some movies I feel could actually use a realistic reboot due to not achieving their full potential and/or just being done (by the opinion of some audiences) wrong. And here we go...
1) Dolly Dearest:
|Nyuk! nyuk! nyuk!|
|If you haven't seen the movie, this douche is what you spent over an hour waiting to see. You're welcome.|
I actually get a little bit depressed at times talking about this one. Like, here's a perfect example of a movie that had all its ducks in a row, ready to be brought together in an epically climactic ending...only, instead of the perfect tie-together of an ending, somebody apparently decided to just take a shit on the assembly line and let it all run off onto the floor. This was definitely a let down of M. Night proportions.
Honestly, I feel this one deserves a second chance only because it was so close to being an instant rainy day classic just before it was plucked from the sweet grace of horror movie awesomeness by what can only be considered as Hollywood jackoffery.
|Ladies and gentlemen...Peter Fucking Weller. Good night...|
When I was a kid, this was one of my go-to movies when I was in a Sci-Fi mood. It was mildly gory, had pretty decent action and Peter Weller (of Robocop and Naked Lunch fame). The best part about it is it's relatively unknown enough to be able to go through a reboot and not piss too many people off, while at the same time has enough of a core platform to jump from that even the most substance depraved directors (read Michael Bay) could do what they do best (blow shit up) and still keep a good deal of the film's integrity intact. Seriously, they remade TOTAL RECALL, but left this gem to rot. I call shenanigans!!
4) The Relic:
|No screenies for this one.|
5) Resident Evil:
|Should have been "Resident Milla"...jus' sayin'.|
This entry is at best hit or miss, but in all fairness, it wasn't exactly the easiest thing for me to put down, but here goes...
I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one with serious mixed feelings about this entire movie franchise. On one hand, it covers the basics like any video game movie typically does -- characters, locations, monsters, etc. But on the other hand, it takes such a dire liberty with the story that it doesn't so much feel like Resident Evil anymore as it does a Milla Jovavich sci-fi movie with coincidental characters, locations, monsters, etc.
Let's call this for what it was; Paul W. S. Anderson (the guy that brought us Mortal Kombat, one of the best video game movies EVER and Soldier) wanted to put his hot wife in a movie and make said movie about her whilst stringing together the original intent with distracting filler material like cg and pyrotechnics. And while there's nothing wrong with that, per se, it does, in the long run, alienate fans of whatever base material it is that ends up being butchered. And I get that you can't please all the fans, but you can fuck over a lot of them by copping-out and moving on.
I don't care what anyone says; this series belongs in the same category as AvP when it comes to movie adaptations. Sorry, try again...
Bonus: Coincidentally, here's a vid recently uploaded by YouTuber and game reviewer stanburdman that I feel can apply to not just the games, but in a way, the movies as well. Merely an opinion, but nonetheless, enjoy.