Death Factory Review

Death Factory (2002)

Starring: Lisa Jay, Karla Zamudio, Ron Jeremy
Directed by: Brad Sykes

The Premise

A group of friends use an abandoned factory as their secret party house. Unfortunately for them, years before, this factory was the site of a horrible chemical spill that resulted in a worker dying after becoming contaminated and subsequently sick. Soon afterward, every employee at the factory was mysteriously murdered...and the killer may still be around.

The First Stitches

A couple chase each other through a lot, stopping only to straddle each other under a tree. They see an abandoned factory and decide it would be a better place to crash. A bit of exploring finds them a room that seems just right for a little sexy least until a freakish hand begins to creep its way in through the door.  The hand disappears in a flash as the man lets out a startled yelp. The woman, having had her back turned to the door, takes the frightening for a hoax and re-dresses. She walks off; meandering through the halls, her attention focused on the dusty junk and debris while he stands around, still caught in an emotion somewhere between horrified and perplexed. It isn't long before she gets her own first hand understanding of what's truly going on. Soon afterward, he finds her in a crumpled, bloody heap on the floor. With an outstretched arm, she makes a futile attempt to warn him of the gruesome monstrosity approaching him from behind. She is quickly finished off afterward.

Her O face needs work...

Mending The Seams

Plot: The plot I found to be caught in a limbo somewhere between lazy and clich├ęd. Basically, what we're looking at is your average campfire-type slasher ghost story in an industrial setting. There were a few other issues I had with the general background of the story as well, like, if the chemical spill was so bad, how did only one person become contaminated? Or, exactly how many people could have possibly been at this factory in the first place if everyone "mysteriously" died suddenly and nobody noticed in time to make it out? I'm just saying, this is an industrial accident monster (read: tweaker with a gauze and surgical forceps fetish), not Batman.

Characters: When it comes to horror movies, I have a general rule of thumb -- the characters either need to be funny or at least interesting. These characters were neither. As a matter of fact, I was probably more irritated by the dialogue between them than anything. I mean, if you compared the acting in this movie to botched cosmetic surgery, it would rank somewhere between Donatella Versace and Jocelyn Wildenstein. The only role in this movie I can say I actually enjoyed was Ron Jeremy's and even then it was only because it was a short scene and didn't drag out unnecessarily. Also, no offense to the guy or anything, but there's a huge problem when Ron Jeremy is the best actor in your movie. I'm not saying his part was all that great, but the rest were just that bad.

Ooohhh, edgy!

Setting/Atmosphere: If there was one thing I did like about this movie, it was the atmosphere, or at least the overall intent. There's really nowhere to go, but to admit that this movie looks cheap. But on that same note, it looks like there was at least a little effort put into getting the sets put together. The only problem is the end result doesn't really scream "factory" to me so much as "generic". Perhaps I'm looking a bit too far into it and expecting too much, but it would have been nice to see more than dirty floors and plywood walls. I wasn't really into the lighting in this movie either, mainly because it was inconsistent and didn't really feel like it gave the right atmosphere in some areas.

Special Effects: Here we have another mixed bag, because on one hand, I did like the amounts of blood and gore put into the flick, especially the throat rip scene, but some of the props (namely of the disemboweled heart variety) just didn't really lend anything to the overall effect. This movie wasn't too terrible in the sFX department, but it certainly wasn't scary at all. They probably could have spent a bit more on better makeup effects by cutting out some of that unnecessary bullshit in the beginning, but that's pure speculation.

("\(o.O)/") Scary.

Music/Audio: I'm fairly certain somebody was paid too much for what was done in this department.  Starting with the obnoxiously shrill screaming in the beginning to the bland, uninspired synthesizer riffs throughout the feature, this entire category for the movie should honestly be changed to "Shit Thrown Together Just For The Paycheck". A small part of me wants to believe this film's soundtrack was put together by an Alzheimer's patient who (understandably) forgot to actually develop the tracks beyond the beginning of the movie, which already sounds like a poor Nightmare on Elm Street knockoff. The unfortunate reality seems to be somewhere between 0 and less than 0 fucks were given while putting these garbage tunes together. Remember that terrible band from Salvage? I would have preferred that to sound off instead of hearing the same ear piercing scream repeated ad nauseum. On a positive note, though, I did somewhat enjoy the occasional stretched low note in between the awful synth-riffs. If not for the poor acting, it could have been a better atmosphere enhancer.

"...the fuck am I doing here...??"

The Binding Stitch

From start to finish, this movie is pretty much flawed to a point that keeps it from being enjoyable in any real way. The story was garbage, the acting was garbage and the production was garbage. Unless your thing is dumpster bin B-movies, I would avoid this movie at all costs. With a few tweaks, there could be some potential in this film, but in its current form, you'd do better spending your time on something more productive, like eating glass or rolling in toxic waste.

...seriously, don't eat glass...or roll in toxic waste. This sort of thing really shouldn't have to be disclaimered...

"We could get naked and start making out right now and it still wouldn't save this movie..."