5 Terrible Horror Game Movies

Contrary to popular opinion, how well or horrible has little to do with how good a movie is. I mean, don't get me wrong, it does serve a metric in the general sense, but in some cases the shiniest turd will outdo the dullest gem. That being said, the video game movie genre is no stranger to shiny turds...or, well, turds in general, really. And that's why today, we're looking at turds of varying degrees of dull and shiny that for some reason or another find themselves considered...

5 Terrible Horror Game Movies

Alone in the Dark (2005)

Directed by Uwe Boll
Starring: Christian Slater, Tara Reid, Stephen Dorff

Why it sucks: With exceptionally terrible acting and a ridiculous plotline involving spine grafted parasites and an ancient evil, this one was actually one of the hardest of the five to sit through. Like every other Uwe Boll movie, it's barely based off the source material. This action horror flop not only doesn't do the original games justice, but is also considered one of the worst movies ever made, pulling in a hefty 2.3/10 on IMDB with a metascore of 9/100. Ouch.

House of the Dead (2003)
Directed by Uwe Boll
Starring: Johnathan Cherry, Tyron Leitso, Clint Howard

Why it sucks: Floating in right behind Alone in the Dark with an IMDB score of 2.0/10, House of the Dead is possibly the loosest adaptation of a video game of all time. Riddled with terrible production values (at a point you can see spring boards and other equipment used to catapult the zombies around like grasshoppers) and horrendous acting, this movie is to adaptations as Juicy Fruit is to food--after about 5 minutes, you're left hungry and with an awful taste in your mouth.

Resident Evil (2002)

Directed by: Paul W.S. Anderson
Starring: Milla Jovavich, Michelle Rodriguez, Ryan McCluskey

Why it sucks: Easily the most successful of all the horror game adaptations with an IMDB score of 6.7/10. Very loosely based off source material, this movie is still barely a blip in the annals of good horror movies. And while the first movie did make at least an attempt to stick somewhat with the lore and atmosphere of the video games, the series quickly escalated from sci-fi horror to sci-fi action, which has helped the horror movie (and video game) genre about as much as tacos and egg rolls help sell burgers at Jack-In-The-Box.

Bloodrayne (2005)
Directed by: Uwe Boll
Starring: Kristanna Loken, Ben Kingsley, Michelle Rodriguez

Why it sucks: Compared to the rest of Uwe Boll's directing credits, this entry really wasn't THAT bad (2.8/10 on IMDB). The acting was more or less wooden and the action scenes varied between good and gory to 5th graders practicing martial arts in their parents' basement, but the mostly B- and C- list cast was still enjoyable. This one was more of a prequel than the actual story, the title could have reflected on this and even played into a decent sequel. Opportunity: missed.

Doom (2005)
Directed by: Andrzej Bartkowiak
Starring: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Karl Urban, Rosamund Pike

Why it sucks: Remember when I said House of the Dead was probably the loosest adaptation? Well, that hasn't changed, but this one isn't too terribly far behind. Instead of being demons from Hell on Mars, the main baddies in this futuristic romp are genitally enhanced monsters. Doom is not as bad as much of the rest (5.2/10 on IMDB), but this movie was still more forgettable than a fart in a wind tunnel. To its credit, though, the first person segment, while over the top, was a nice nod to the source games, unlike the blatant video game scenes spliced into House of the Dead.

What other terrible video game movies can you think of?

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