Detention Review

Detention (2011)

Starring: Josh Hutcherson, Shanley Caswell, Spencer Locke
Directed by: Joseph Kahn

If my high school were like this, I probably would have eaten a bullet years ago.

In Detention, a rag tag group of Grizzly Lake co-eds must try to survive the wrath of the student body stalking Cinderhella while also serving detention.

I can't lie, this movie had a strong opening. There are heavy comedic overtones as the pretty, popular girl explains how to be cool or some other vapid shit like that. She is then brutally murdered as her mother waits for her outside in the car. After that, it's all downhill. Yeah, this film had an interesting premise and could have been a lot more interesting. The problem is there apparently wasn't enough shit to throw in for the horror and comedy angles, so they added a bunch of nonsense sci-fi to the mix.

Like a frog in a blender, these elements are tossed haphazardly throughout the film. There's no real rhyme or reason to it. To be honest, I felt this film is what Scott Pilgrim Vs The World would have been like if they'd thrown in elements of horror movies and instead of referencing video games, referenced the 90's ad nauseum. Oh, and time travel. There's fucking time travel in Detention.

That being said, even though by the end of the movie a lot of the various jokes come full circle, by the time it gets to that point, you're pretty much ready to jump out a fourth story window just to end the schlock.

I hated the characters almost as much as I thought I would. After that opening, there's a good idea what you're in for -- a bunch of fourth wall breaking, air CG'ing, joke tossing fuck-tardedness. Almost every line in the movie is some sort of punchline and honestly, it gets old very quickly. Dane Cook is in the movie, but he's about as funny as a rectal herpes outbreak.

I did like Cinderhella's look as well as, well, her killing everyone. That was nice. The main heroine of the film, Riley (Shanley Caswell) wasn't that bad, either. The Billy Nolan character (Parker Bagley) added to the "doesn't make any fucking sense" factor of the movie. The guy vomits acid like and sprouts fly wings because he touched a fallen meteor as a kid. His dad even had him stick his hand in a television set! Why was this in the movie? His whole roid raging issue isn't even funny, it's more irritating than anything!

And don't even get me started on that overly rape-y coach...!

On the plus side, Mimi (Tiffany Boone) is pretty cute as the "goth" chick.

Atmospherically, this movie shifts between being colorful and bright to being slightly less colorful and bright. There isn't much that gives the movie anything related to the horror atmosphere we all know and love. It's not scary in the least bit and the sci fi concepts sometimes even take away from the comedic twangs Detention throws at you.

Finally, the most detention has to offer is a cadre of CG effects. There are some decent practicals, like the throat slitting at the beginning and a death or two towards the middle of the film, but for the most part, it's CG effects back to back.

Really, Detention doesn't have much to offer except a few cheap laughs and a slight amount of gore. Most of the jokes and dialogue feel more forced than prison sex. The characters are mostly forgettable. There's nothing to this vapid waste of a movie that I could consider any horror fan wanting to own it for. NOTHING!!




Special Effects

Overall Rating: Lightly Bandaged

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